Why Coping with Isolation Matters for Your Health and Happiness

Coping with isolation is essential for both your mental and physical wellbeing, especially when you’re building a life in a new country like Spain. If you’re feeling disconnected, you’re not alone—and there are practical steps you can take today to feel more connected.

Quick strategies for managing isolation:

1. Reach out to one person today—send a text, make a call, or arrange a video chat with family or friends
2. Get outside for a walk in a public space like a park or café-lined street in Barcelona, Valencia, or wherever you are
3. Join one local group based on an interest—language exchange, hiking, book clubs, or volunteering
4. Practise self-compassion—remind yourself that loneliness is a normal human emotion, not a personal failing
5. Seek professional support if feelings persist or affect your daily life

Emily, a 34-year-old from the UK, moved to Barcelona for a new role. She imagined vibrant social connections and exciting adventures. Instead, she found herself spending most evenings alone in her flat, scrolling through social media and watching friends back home living seemingly perfect lives. She is a fictional composite example, but her story mirrors the experiences of countless internationals who find that moving abroad can amplify feelings of disconnection.

Here’s what’s important to understand: feeling lonely after a major life change like relocating to Spain is completely normal. It doesn’t mean you’re unlikeable or broken. It means you’re human, and your brain is signalling that you need connection—just as hunger signals you need food.

The research is clear: loneliness and social isolation aren’t just uncomfortable feelings. A 2020 national survey in the United States found that 61 percent of adults report feeling lonely (Cigna, 2020), whilst in Great Britain, data from 2023 shows that 25.8% of adults reported feeling lonely often, always or some of the time (ONS, 2023). The health impacts are serious—social isolation can increase your risk of premature death to a similar degree as smoking (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015), and loneliness is linked to heart disease, persistent low mood, a decline in thinking skills, and weakened immune function.

But here’s the hopeful part: loneliness is manageable. Small, consistent actions can rebuild your sense of connection and belonging. Whether you’re in Barcelona, Madrid, Valencia, or Málaga, you can learn practical strategies to strengthen both your inner world (mindset and self-care) and your outer world (social connections and community). This guide will walk you through evidence-based approaches that actually work, customised for the unique challenges of living abroad.

Understanding the Landscape: Loneliness vs. Social Isolation

Often, the terms ‘loneliness’ and ‘social isolation’ are used interchangeably, but they describe two distinct experiences. Understanding the difference is the first step in effective coping with isolation.

Loneliness is a feeling. It’s the distressing subjective experience of being alone or separated, a sense of emptiness and longing that arises when there’s a gap between your current social life and your desired social life. You can feel lonely even when surrounded by people if you don’t feel seen, understood, or genuinely connected. This might happen at a lively party in Marbella or a crowded café in Zaragoza.

Social isolation is a situation. It refers to the objective lack of social contacts and having few people to interact with regularly. It’s about the quantity and infrequency of your social interactions. You could live alone and not feel lonely or socially isolated, just as you can feel lonely while having many social contacts.

The causes of isolation are varied and often stem from major life changes. Moving abroad, for instance, is a significant trigger. You might be leaving behind a well-established support network of family and friends. Other common causes include bereavement, divorce, or losing a job, which can all disrupt your social routines and sense of belonging. Even physical limitations, such as mobility issues, or living in remote locations like some parts of Gran Canaria, can severely limit opportunities for social interaction.

The health effects of persistent loneliness and social isolation are profound. Studies show that loneliness and social isolation are associated with higher risks for heart disease, persistent low mood, and a decline in thinking skills (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010). Adults who are lonely or socially isolated tend to be less healthy, have longer hospital stays, and are more likely to die earlier than those with meaningful social connections (Valtorta et al., 2016). From an evolutionary perspective, being alone makes you vulnerable, requiring you to stay constantly alert, which uses up precious mental and physical energy. This chronic state of vigilance can increase stress and inflammation in the body.

Signs that someone is experiencing loneliness or social isolation can include:

• A limited relationship status (few close friends, infrequent contact with family).
• Low community participation (not belonging to clubs, sports teams, or religious groups).
• Feeling like an outsider or that no one truly knows them.
• Withdrawing from people or activities they once enjoyed.
• Persistent low mood, feelings of worry, or hopelessness.
• Changes in daily routines, such as neglecting self-care or avoiding cooking for oneself.

Common Causes for Expats and Internationals

For those who have chosen to live abroad, like many of our clients in Barcelona, Madrid, and Valencia, the challenges of coping with isolation can be particularly acute.

• Cultural adjustment: Navigating new social norms, customs, and expectations can be exhausting and lead to misunderstandings, making it harder to form deep connections.
• Language barriers: Even if you’re learning Spanish, the effort required for daily interactions can be draining, and you might miss the nuance and humour of your native tongue, making genuine connection feel out of reach. For clients seeking support, finding an English-speaking therapist who understands these linguistic and cultural nuances is vital. You can find more information about individual therapy for expats here.
• Missing family and friends: The emotional distance from your long-established support system can create a profound sense of loss and loneliness, even if you’re making new acquaintances.
• Feeling like an outsider: Despite being in a vibrant city, the sense of not fully belonging or being understood can be isolating. This is a common experience for expats moving to cities like Valencia or Madrid.
• Work-life balance challenges: Long working hours or an intense focus on building a career in a new country can leave little time or energy for cultivating social relationships.

The Physical and Mental Health Toll

The impact of loneliness and social isolation extends far beyond emotional discomfort, taking a significant toll on both physical and mental health.

When you’re chronically lonely, your body can activate its stress response, similar to the “fight-or-flight” mechanism. This leads to increased levels of stress hormones, which can cause chronic inflammation. Over time, this inflammation can impair your immune system, making you more vulnerable to illness.

Sleep problems are also common. For example, a 2020 meta-analysis confirmed a significant relationship between sleep problems and loneliness (Li et al., 2020). A lack of quality sleep further exacerbates stress and negatively impacts mood and cognitive function.

Furthermore, loneliness and isolation are linked to a higher risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, and even obesity. The emotional pain from chronic loneliness can activate the same stress responses as physical pain, contributing to these serious health conditions.

Mentally, coping with isolation becomes a battle against worsening mental health. Loneliness can fuel feelings of worry and a persistently low mood, making it harder to reach out for support. It can also affect cognitive functioning, increasing the risk of conditions that affect memory and thinking skills later in life. For adolescents, who are particularly vulnerable to loneliness (young people aged 16 to 34 are a high-risk group), these effects can be particularly damaging. Learn more about how therapy can support young people here.

Strengthening Your Inner World: Mindset and Self-Care

Before you can effectively build external connections, it’s often helpful to strengthen your inner world. This involves cultivating a resilient mindset and engaging in consistent self-care. It’s about becoming your own best friend, even when you feel alone.

Mindset Shifts for Coping with Isolation

Your thoughts have a powerful impact on how you feel. When experiencing loneliness, it’s easy for negative self-talk to take over, whispering doubts like “I’ll never make friends here” or “No one cares.”

• Challenging negative self-talk: Question these thoughts. Are they 100% true? What would you say to a friend who had these thoughts? Often, these are assumptions, not facts.
• Practising self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one. Loneliness is a normal human emotion, not a personal failing. Remind yourself, “My experience of loneliness is valid, whatever the reason.”
• Reframing solitude as an opportunity: Being alone doesn’t always have to mean feeling lonely. Solitude can be peaceful and powerful. Use this time for personal growth, hobbies, or quiet reflection.
• Understanding feelings are temporary: Feelings come and go. Remind yourself that loneliness is a state, not a permanent condition. Mindfulness practices, such as the RAIN method (Recognise, Allow, Investigate, Nurture), can help you acknowledge and process these feelings without getting overwhelmed. Explore the RAIN method for mindfulness here.
• Building self-esteem with small goals: Focus on small, achievable tasks. Successfully completing a small goal, like trying a new recipe or taking a walk in a new part of Barcelona, can gradually build confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

Self-Care Rituals to Nurture Your Wellbeing

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your mental and physical health, especially when you’re coping with isolation.

• Establishing a routine: A structured day can provide a sense of stability and purpose. Wake up, shower, and get dressed, even if you’re not leaving the house. This simple act can set a positive tone for the day.
• Physical activity: Exercise is one of the best ways to boost mental wellness. It releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins and serotonin, which improve your mood and reduce stress. Find out more about exercise for mental health here. Even a daily walk in a park in Málaga or along the beach in Alicante can make a difference.
• Healthy eating: Nourish your body with nutrient-rich foods. Your diet can significantly impact your mood and energy levels.
• Limiting alcohol: While it might offer temporary relief, alcohol can increase feelings of panic, worry, and low mood.
• Creative outlets: Engage in activities that spark your creativity, such as writing, cooking, gardening, or crafts. These activities can provide a sense of flow and accomplishment.
• Getting enough sleep: Aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep each night. Sleep deprivation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and negatively impact your mood.
• Spending time in nature: Connecting with the natural world can be incredibly grounding. Take a walk in a local park, spend time by the sea, or simply sit outdoors and observe your surroundings.

Building Your Outer World: Practical Strategies for Coping with Isolation

Once you’ve nurtured your inner world, you’re better equipped to reach out and build meaningful connections. This isn’t about collecting hundreds of friends; it’s about finding quality connections that make you feel supported and understood.

How to Build and Maintain Social Connections

• Reconnect with old friends: Technology makes it easier than ever to reach out. Send a text, an email, or even a handwritten letter to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. You might be surprised how happy they are to hear from you.
• Turn acquaintances into friends: If you’ve met people casually, take the initiative. Suggest a low-pressure meet-up, like a coffee or a walk in a new part of Sevilla. Focus on common interests and offer your time to help them, or ask for their help with something small.
• Join clubs or groups: This is an excellent way to meet like-minded individuals. Look for hiking groups in Gran Canaria, book clubs in Madrid, language exchanges in Valencia, or cooking classes in Barcelona. These shared activities provide a natural basis for conversation and connection.
• Explore local interest groups: Many cities in Spain offer a wealth of opportunities, from sports leagues to art workshops. Check out community centres, local libraries, or online platforms like Meetup for local events.
• Volunteer for a cause you care about: Volunteering not only helps others but also provides a sense of purpose and connects you with people who share your values. According to one 2018 study, volunteering can offer an effective way to expand your social network and find a new sense of purpose, which can be particularly helpful when mourning the loss of a loved one (Carr et al., 2018).
• Take a class: Enrol in a course at a community college or a local cultural centre. This could be anything from learning a new language to pottery or dance. It provides a structured environment for interaction.
• Tips for making friends as an adult: Building friendships as an adult often requires more intentional effort than it did in childhood. Be patient, be open, and understand that not every interaction will lead to a deep friendship—and that’s perfectly fine. You can find more tips on how to meet people and make new friends here.

Using Technology for Coping with Isolation

Technology can be both a help and a hindrance. While social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of loneliness through comparison, it can also be a powerful tool for connection when used mindfully.

• Video calls: Schedule regular video calls with family and friends back home. For example, research involving older adults in long-term care facilities found that even a short weekly video call with loved ones may significantly reduce loneliness and help people feel more emotionally supported (Tsai et al., 2019).
• Social media mindfulness: Use social media to connect, not to compare. People often only share the highlights of their lives, not the struggles. If you find your mood worsens after using certain platforms, consider logging off or limiting your screen time.
• Online communities: There are online forums and groups for almost any interest imaginable. Join a digital book club, a gaming community, or a forum dedicated to your favourite hobby. These can provide a sense of belonging and shared interest.
• Digital book clubs: Many libraries and online platforms host book clubs where you can discuss literature with others from around the world.
• Avoiding comparison traps: Actively remind yourself that what you see online is often a curated version of reality. Focus on your own journey and celebrate your own small victories.

When to Seek Professional Support

While self-help strategies are incredibly valuable for coping with isolation, there are times when professional support is necessary and highly recommended. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to reach out for help.

You should consider seeking professional help if:

• Feelings are overwhelming: If loneliness or isolation feels too intense to manage on your own.
• Affecting daily life: If your feelings are interfering with your work, studies, relationships, or overall functioning.
• Thoughts of self-harm: If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself, it’s crucial to seek immediate help. In Spain, you can call 112 for emergencies.
• Persistent low mood or anxiety: If feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or worry are constant and don’t seem to lift.
• Withdrawing further: If you find yourself increasingly isolating from others and activities, even those you once enjoyed.

Professional mental health support, including online therapy, can provide a safe and confidential space to explore the root causes of your feelings and develop personalised coping strategies. Find out more about online therapy options here.

Comparing Your Options for Mental Health Support

When considering mental health support, especially as an expat in Spain, you have several options. Understanding the pros and cons of each can help you make an informed decision.

Public Healthcare System

• Pros: Generally accessible and often low-cost or free.
• Cons: May have long wait times for appointments, limited availability of English-speaking therapists, and less flexibility in choosing a therapist who understands expat-specific issues.

Large Online Platforms

• Pros: Convenient and often offer a wide selection of therapists.
• Cons: May lack the cultural sensitivity needed for expats in Spain, often operate on subscription models, and do not offer in-person options if you prefer face-to-face sessions in Barcelona. Privacy policies can also vary, with some platforms not offering strict confidentiality.

Local Private Practices

• Pros: Offer personalised care and often more immediate appointments.
• Cons: Not all local practices are experienced with international clients, may not offer online sessions, and finding a therapist with the right cultural background or language skills can be challenging.

Therapy in Barcelona

• Pros: Offers bespoke therapist matching to ensure you’re paired with the best fit for your specific needs. All therapists are psychology-trained and experienced with expats, providing culturally and linguistically sensitive support. Our international team offers therapy in English, German, French, Spanish, Afrikaans, Portuguese, Austrian-German and Swiss-German. We uphold strict privacy standards (no data selling). We offer online therapy worldwide and in-person sessions in our central Barcelona office. Established since 2011 and led by Leigh Matthews, an Australian Psychologist and expat herself, we deeply understand the unique challenges of living abroad, whether you’re in Barcelona, Valencia, or Alicante. Our international team offers a safe and compassionate environment, acknowledging the nuances of expat life.
• Cons: As a private-pay service, it may not be covered by standard public health insurance. However, some therapists offer sliding scale fees for those with financial need, and prospective clients can inquire about this during their Free Discovery Call.

How Therapy Can Help with Loneliness and Isolation

Therapy offers a structured and supportive environment to address the complex feelings associated with loneliness and isolation.

• Building social skills: A therapist can help you identify and practise effective communication techniques, assertiveness skills, and ways to initiate and maintain conversations.
• Improving self-esteem: Many people experiencing loneliness also struggle with low self-esteem. Therapy can help you challenge negative self-perceptions and build a stronger sense of self-worth.
• Addressing underlying issues: Loneliness can often be a symptom of deeper issues like intense social fears, a persistently low mood, or difficult past experiences. A therapist can help you explore and process these underlying challenges.
• Processing difficult experiences: Past events, particularly those involving loss or abandonment, can contribute to chronic feelings of isolation. Therapy provides a safe space to work through the impact of these experiences.
• Learning coping mechanisms: You’ll develop practical strategies to manage difficult emotions, negative thought patterns, and social fears. A therapist can draw on different evidence-based approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), or psychodynamic therapy, to find what works best for you.
• Developing a roadmap for connection: A therapist can help you create an actionable plan to build new connections and strengthen existing relationships, customised to your unique circumstances and personality.

Learn more about our comprehensive therapy services here, which cater to adults, couples, teens, and families, addressing a wide spectrum of mental health concerns.

Frequently Asked Questions about Coping with Isolation

What is the fastest way to stop feeling lonely?

There’s no single “fastest” way, as loneliness is a complex emotion. However, focusing on small, immediate actions can provide quick relief and build momentum. Call a friend or family member – even a short conversation can make a difference. Going for a walk in a public place, like a busy square in Valencia or a park in Madrid, can make you feel less alone simply by being around others. Engaging in a hobby you love, whether it’s reading, painting, or listening to music, can shift your focus from the feeling of loneliness to a sense of enjoyment and purpose. It’s about taking action, even a tiny one, to interrupt the cycle of isolation.

Can you be happy while being isolated?

The key here is the distinction between chosen solitude and forced isolation. Solitude, when chosen, can be a source of profound happiness. It can foster creativity, self-reflection, and personal growth. Many artists, writers, and thinkers thrive in solitude. However, chronic, unwanted isolation is detrimental to happiness and overall well-being. If you desire social connection but are unable to find it, that’s when isolation becomes problematic. It’s not about the quantity of interactions, but the quality of your connections and whether they meet your needs. You can live alone happily, but you cannot be happy in unwanted isolation.

How do I make friends as an adult, especially in a new country?

Making friends as an adult, particularly when adjusting to a new culture in a city like Barcelona or Sevilla, requires intentional effort.

• Join groups based on interests: This is one of the most effective methods. Look for hiking clubs, book groups, language exchanges, or cooking classes. For example, many expat communities in Spain organise regular meet-ups.
• Explore local events: Check local listings, community boards, or online platforms for concerts, festivals, or workshops in your area. Even attending alone can lead to casual conversations.
• Volunteer: Give your time to a cause you care about. This connects you with like-minded people and provides a shared sense of purpose.
• Be open and patient: Friendships take time to develop. Don’t expect instant best friends. Start with small talk and show genuine interest in others.
• Start with small talk and show genuine interest in others: Ask open-ended questions and actively listen to their responses. People appreciate feeling heard.
• For more detailed tips on making friends as an adult, you can refer to this guide.

You Don’t Have to Steer This Alone

Coping with isolation is a journey, not a destination. Loneliness is a universal human experience, not a personal failing. You’ve learned about strengthening your inner world through mindset shifts and self-care, and building your outer world with practical strategies for connection. Small, consistent steps truly do lead to significant changes over time. The power of connection, both with yourself and with others, is fundamental to a fulfilling life.

We understand that living abroad, whether in Barcelona, Madrid, or any other city in Spain, can present unique challenges that intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation. Therapy in Barcelona offers specialised, culturally sensitive support for internationals. Our team of expat therapists deeply understands your journey, because we’ve experienced it ourselves. We are committed to providing a safe and compassionate space where you can explore these feelings and develop effective strategies for connection and well-being.

If you’re finding it difficult to steer these feelings on your own, you don’t have to steer this alone. If you’d like support, book a Free Discovery Call with us. We offer online therapy available worldwide (including USA and Canada) and in-person sessions at our office in Barcelona.