Ever wondered what ‘cultural fluency’ is? Csenge Fazekas, intercultural trainer, facilitator, and the founder of Cultural Origami takes us on a comprehensive dive into what it takes to develop a mindset for international relocations in the following guest post for Therapy in Barcelona. Enjoy!

Let’s face it: moving is stressful. Even if it’s just from one apartment to another, the logistics of figuring it all out can be pretty nerve-wracking. So when it comes to moving abroad, the list can get even longer and our nerves even thinner.

Not to mention figuring out a completely new environment (potentially with even a new language) adds a lot of extra stress. Especially when you are moving to Spain, where the pace and perception of time might differ from your country of origin – now that might require an additional dose of patience.

Here is the good news: as the move starts, the list will shrink. Things get moved, done, and set up, maybe even a language course appears on the horizon, eventually everything gets sorted and calms down. And you will find yourself sitting on a sunny terrace, with a tinto de verano in your hand (sangría is for the tourists, by the way).

Yet, your new (expat) way of being in the new country can still feel foreign for quite some time.

Why? Because you also need to think of the mental and emotional parts of your move. While it might not be the most obvious aspect (especially when lost in logistics), it is crucial to spend time reflecting and preparing ourselves for the differences we might face.

The fine print nobody talks about when changing countries.

Enter cultural fluency

“Cultural what?” You might ask.

I know, I just told you how many things you deal with when moving to Spain and here I am hitting you with another thing (besides Spanish) to get fluent in. But cultural fluency is different and more universal, so hear me out.

It is the superpower of understanding others and embracing the differences we encounter in our cross-cultural interactions. Whether working in international teams or moving to a new country with a whole new set of traditions and unspoken rules, it is a skill that helps us navigate these differences with more confidence and joy.

You might have heard of it as cultural competence or cultural intelligence (or any similar name). I like to call it cultural fluency because, for me, this is a skill similar to language learning: it’s not linear, requires constant practice and can take our experience to a whole new level.

Before I get deeper into how we can build this muscle, let’s look at why this is a skill you should consider working on.

Back to basics

Let me ask you something: what is ‘culture’ for you?

Think about it for a moment. If we were talking now, what would you answer? Would you tell me about the national culture you grew up in? Or your city? Or your family? Or a sports team you played in for many years? Or your friend group from university? Put your hand on your heart and ask yourself this: would you be able to come up with an answer? Or even a set of characteristics to describe it?

Before you start feeling bad about potentially not, let me confess something here: I don’t have a straightforward answer either. I was born in Transylvania, grew up in Hungary as a third-culture kid, moved to Budapest when I went to university and then moved abroad twice (and this is only the tip of the iceberg). So if you’d ask me about ‘my culture’, I’d probably scratch my head for a while.

This is my point here, culture is so ingrained in our lives that sometimes we can’t even explain it to others. It is because culture is not something static.

I brought you a definition I use during my training sessions to help you understand this better: “Culture is the way we do things here”. Sounds simple, right? Yet, maybe not so much… so let’s unpack it!

• “The way” shows us that there are a set of norms and traditions in a culture – in a very simplistic way we can say that culture is a group habit. So each group you belong to – your family, colleagues, etc. – count as a culture with their set of rules that influence what you consider ‘normal’.

• Then let’s also talk a little about the “here” versus “there” aspect. It is important because this distinction shows us that the rules across different cultures and groups are different. What goes “here”, might not work “there”. If you think about the different groups you have formed a part of throughout your life, it’s quite easy to identify these: the rules you had with your family growing up are probably not the same as those with your colleagues.

Each group and culture has a different way of functioning and if we spend long enough time in them, their rules become our ‘normal’. This is why they eventually become hard to explain (with developing cultural fluency and awareness it gets easier though). 

As we all see the world through the lenses we refine over our lived experiences, when we land in a new place, we tend to use these lenses to make sense of our new environment. 

This is where a lot of frustration and misunderstanding occur, simply because this approach, more often than not, doesn’t work. 

First, it is impossible to immediately make sense of something we see for the first time, even though our brains desperately try. Second, there is a very high chance that the values we see the world through and the values the new environment functions by don’t match – this is what we define as cultural differences.

So, it is only normal that we need to take time and make the effort to get to know our new place and (re)learn the rules of the game. On the road we will probably have some culture shocks too, which is completely normal, it is a learning curve after all.

This is where cultural fluency comes into play

If we develop cultural fluency and dig deeper into our cultural preferences to see where the biggest frictions can come from, this adaptation phase becomes easier. I can’t promise it will be flawless (because life rarely is), but once you have the tools to work through them, life in Spain (or any new country) gets easier and more enjoyable.

Let me give you a personal example here!

I have lived in Spain for 10 years now. I spoke some Spanish when I moved here, but that didn’t always save me from cultural hiccups and shocks (and on a personal note, sometimes I still have them, because living abroad is a constant discovery and learning journey).

Not long after my move, through my work, I was invited to join a Spanish group of friends for dinner. I was excited to go, as I was missing my friends a lot and figured this would be a fun evening and a good bonding opportunity.

Through my lenses at that time, dinner with a group of friends looked like the following: we gather at the agreed place, take turns talking, listen to the other until they finish their story and once that happens, we move on to the next person or topic. Long story short, one person speaks at a time and the rest patiently waits before bringing up anything they’d add or before we change topics.

Well, that evening with the Spaniards was way different.

We were around 12 people, 3-4 different parallel conversations were going on at the same time and whoever had something to add to any of them, just interrupted. It was horrifying – not only because this was hard to manage in a foreign language, but also because it was the complete opposite of how friend dinners happened in my world.

Going from my habits, I waited for my turn to add thoughts to the conversation, which never happened, because by the time there was a brief moment of silence, already 4 other topics passed and what I had to say had no relevance anymore. So my turn never came, I never spoke (to be honest barely even followed all the conversations) and finished the evening with a massive headache.

Should I have had more cultural awareness before that experience (I wasn’t working in the intercultural field at that time just yet), I would have approached the evening differently. I probably would have had a chat with the person who invited me beforehand and would have asked them a bunch of questions about how friend gatherings happen.

If I had cultural preparation before moving to Spain, I probably would have also known that Spain is a very people-oriented culture, which means much of the socialising happens in groups and people are more talkative than for example in Hungary (my point of reference). I also would have known that interrupting isn’t rude here in such an informal social situation (in fact it’s necessary if you ever want to contribute to the conversation).

This is just one example, but I hope you see my point now when I say that investing in developing cultural fluency improves not only your move to a new place but your interactions in general. It helps you become more aware of your preferences, and identify the potential differences and cultural clashes you might face when working with someone very different or moving to a completely new environment.

It helps you prepare and face such situations better. On a side note, I eventually learned ‘the Spanish way of being’ during social meals. But without cultural fluency, the learning curve was steeper and it took me time to learn to enjoy these outings without feeling overwhelmed.

Before we move on to the tips, here is something else I wanted to mention: Becoming culturally fluent doesn’t mean you need to assimilate and adapt to every single thing in your new culture. It helps you understand cultural dynamics and flex your perspectives, so you can decide how to approach such situations (and living abroad in general) in the best way for you.

Tips for developing cultural fluency

And now on to the practical bit: let me give you some tips if you are planning to move to a new country soon, or just recently landed – I will keep using Spain as my example, but you can apply them more generically too.

• When in doubt, ask. I know this sounds simple, but believe me, it isn’t that obvious, so I can only encourage you to ask, ask and ask! Use your advantage as the newly landed foreigner and clarify if there is anything that feels confusing – believe me, locals won’t get offended by you wanting to understand their ways of being! Especially when moving to Spain, asking can open doors for you – Spaniards are very proud of their culture, so they love it when foreigners are open and curious and will happily talk to you about it.

• Do your due diligence. Talking to locals is an amazing way to get to know a new culture, but there are also other things you can do to prepare. Read up on the country’s history (it has a LOT to do with the culture and traditions, you can learn a lot by doing this – especially when it comes to Spain with its rich and diverse history). Talk to other expats who made the move, to learn what issues or challenges they faced and what was the most unexpected for them to find after the move (positive or negative). When it comes to Spain, I’d also recommend learning the language, it goes a long way when it comes to cultural adaptation over here.

• When you get frustrated by a situation, use it as a reflection point. It is usually a sign that your values are being challenged in some way, so can be a valuable lesson – not only to learn about a cultural difference but also to learn something new about yourself. If you feel that a situation is triggering you, stop and ask yourself the following questions: 
  • What is it about this moment that is bothering me? Focus on observed behaviours and be factual, don’t get stuck in feeling frustrated! 
  • According to your values, what should this situation look like?
  • What are the differences between the two scenarios? (This will show you the source of the friction)
  • What can be behind this difference? (Bonus tip: if you can verify the situation with a native or someone with a different insight, do it, so you uncover the different perspective behind it – it helps you understand better and will help you feel less frustrated.)

Flexing your thinking with cultural fluency can bring you many new insights. As I said, it doesn’t make the journey flawless, and it is certainly not a magical formula to give you all the answers, but it is a powerful skill to help you know what to look for or what questions to ask.

Not to mention, it makes your move so much more enjoyable – so I warmly encourage you to give it a try! You never know where the journey can take you.

And you don’t have to do this all alone! If you want to dive deeper, I can help you with personalised 1-on-1 support (which is ideal if you are about to move and have specific questions or doubts about cultural differences) or you can join one of my upcoming cultural fluency courses. You can learn more about how I can support you here.

Navigating Your Move with Support

Moving abroad brings new opportunities but also challenges that can affect your well-being. At Therapy in Barcelona, we specialise in helping internationals like you adapt and thrive in a new environment. Whether you’re struggling with cultural differences, feeling overwhelmed by the transition, or just need someone to talk to, our experienced team is here to support you.

Let’s make this move a positive chapter in your life. Reach out today to see how we can help you settle in with confidence and peace of mind. Visit Therapy in Barcelona to learn more and schedule a consultation.

Csenge Fazekas is an intercultural trainer, facilitator, and the founder of Cultural Origami. Based in Spain, with over 14 years of global experience, she helps teams and individuals not just communicate, but truly understand each other across cultures. Certified in Global DISC™ and Growth Zone, Csenge unlocks cultural fluency, psychological safety, and motivation to improve team collaboration in an authentic, data-driven way. Fluent in four languages, she brings a playful touch to learning through improv and experiential methods, offering vibrant workshops, courses, and 1-on-1 support.