The Uninvited Guest: Understanding Homesickness

First, Understand What You’re Feeling

Homesickness often arrives in waves. One minute you’re marvelling at Gaudí’s rooftops, the next you’re wondering whether you should have stayed put. Before you spiral, remember: missing home is not a character flaw. It simply means you’re attached to people, places, and routines that mattered. Recognising that fact – and cutting yourself some slack – is the essential first step when dealing with homesickness.

1. Recognise the Signs of Homesickness

Homesickness rarely shows up as plain sadness. You might feel lonely, anxious, easily irritated, or unable to concentrate. Physically, headaches, stomach-aches, fatigue, or disrupted sleep can tag along too. These reactions are surprisingly common; research suggests most people experience homesickness shortly after a big move, with symptoms easing for many after a few weeks. If severe physical issues persist, do see a doctor – it’s always best to rule out other causes. For a deeper dive into typical symptoms, explore scientific research on homesickness symptoms or learn more about expat mental health.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Trying to “out-tough” homesickness usually backfires. Instead, practise self-compassion. Remind yourself that you’ve taken on a huge change and it’s OK to feel shaky. A short cry, comfort food, or a duvet day won’t derail your trip; denial might. Consider journalling to pinpoint exactly what you miss – people, routine, food, belonging – then reflect on ways to invite those elements into your new life. Accepting your feelings opens the door to processing them, a normal part of migratory grief.

Create a Sense of ‘Home’ Wherever You Are

Once you’ve named your emotions, focus on making your surroundings feel familiar. Home isn’t only bricks and mortar; it’s the small rituals and comforts that anchor you.

3. Establish Comforting Routines and Rituals

A reliable routine fights the chaotic “everything is new” feeling. Pick one or two simple habits – the same morning coffee stop, a weekly market visit, or a regular jog – and stick with them. Consistency quickly breeds comfort and friendly faces.

4. Personalise Your Living Space

Transform even a short-let apartment into a haven. A few photos, a favourite blanket, or the scent of a candle you loved back home can quickly soften unfamiliar walls. Cooking a nostalgic recipe or playing music from your childhood brings instant comfort.

5. Explore and Engage with Your New Surroundings

Boredom is homesickness’s best friend, so get curious. Make a mini bucket list – a nearby park, a local bakery, a street you’ve never walked. Snap photos, try the language basics, volunteer, or join a class. Each positive memory you create gently rewires “foreign” into “familiar”. Need ideas? Check out these volunteering opportunities in Barcelona.

Master the Art of Connection (Old and New)

Humans are social creatures, so a solid network is non-negotiable when dealing with homesickness.

6. Actively Build Your New Support Network

Barcelona brims with expat meet-ups, hobby clubs, and language exchanges. Volunteer, join a sports team, or invite a colleague for coffee. It may feel awkward at first, but most newcomers are also looking for friends. For encouragement, see why making friends abroad can feel so hard and tips on creating belonging as an international.

7. Find a Healthy Balance for Staying in Touch

Regular calls with loved ones are comforting, yet constant video-chats or endless social-media scrolling can trap you in FOMO. Schedule purposeful catch-ups – perhaps once a week – and spend the rest of your time investing in life on the ground. Share your new findies with family instead of only talking about what you miss. Quality beats quantity every time.

Key Strategies for Dealing with Homesickness

Beyond routines and friendships, mindset and self-care keep homesickness from lingering.

8. Prioritise Your Physical and Mental Well-being

Move your body, eat balanced meals, and respect your sleep. A 20-minute park walk or a beginner yoga class releases mood-boosting endorphins and breaks rumination loops. Add calming practices like mindfulness, reading, or creative hobbies. Simple, consistent habits build resilience.

9. Reframe Your Mindset and Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Notice when nostalgia paints the past in rose-tinted hues. Counter it by listing new opportunities your move offers – learning Spanish, a sunnier climate, fresh career options. Then nudge yourself into small challenges: chat to your neighbour, try that dance class, order food in Catalan. Small wins accumulate into confidence.

10. Know What Not to Do When Dealing with Homesickness

• Resist the urge to isolate – accept invitations, even when you’re low.
• Avoid big, impulsive decisions (like quitting your job overnight).
• Stop constant comparisons with “how things used to be”.
• Share your feelings rather than bottling them up.
• Don’t rely solely on calls home for comfort; balance is key.

When Homesickness Lingers: Knowing When to Seek Support

For many people, waves of homesickness ease with time and the strategies above. If weeks pass and you still feel persistently low, can’t sleep, or struggle to function, reaching out for extra help is wise.

Some expats try large online platforms such as BetterHelp or Talkspace, or local public-system clinicians. Those services can be useful, yet they rarely offer the personalised therapist matching and expat-specific cultural understanding that Therapy in Barcelona provides. Founded by Leigh Matthews – an Australian Psychologist who has called Barcelona home since 2011 – our practice specialises in supporting internationals through every stage of cultural adjustment.

Our English-speaking, psychology-trained team (all of us internationals ourselves) offers sessions in person on C/ de París, 162-164, or online worldwide. Whether you need short-term coping tools or deeper work around anxiety, depression, or cultural identity, we’re here with culturally sensitive care tailor-made for life abroad.

Frequently Asked Questions about Dealing with Homesickness

When you’re dealing with homesickness, it’s natural to have a lot of questions. You might wonder if what you’re feeling is normal, how long it will last, or what the ‘right’ thing to do is. Let’s explore some of these common queries, offering a warm and realistic perspective.

How long does it normally take to get over homesickness?

Ah, the million-dollar question! The truth is, there’s no single answer that fits everyone. The adjustment period is incredibly personal and varies greatly from person to person. For instance, studies on college students often show that intense feelings of homesickness tend to taper off after about 1 to 6 weeks. This research suggests that for many, the initial shock and longing can subside relatively quickly. 

However, for expats and immigrants making a more significant life change, like moving to a new country, it can certainly take longer. We’re talking months, and years, before you truly start to feel settled and your new environment begins to feel like ‘home’. It’s so important to be patient with yourself. This isn’t a race, and your unique journey of adaptation will unfold at its own pace. Allowing yourself the time and space to adapt naturally is key to helping these intense feelings of homesickness diminish over time.

Can you be homesick for a place you didn’t even like?

Surprisingly, yes! This is a question that often catches people off guard, but it’s a very real experience. Homesickness isn’t always about pining for a place you adored or where every memory was perfect. Often, it’s less about the specific location itself and more about the familiarity, routine, and predictability that your old environment provided.

Think of it this way: even if your previous life had its challenges, it was known. You knew how things worked, where to find things, and who your people were. Homesickness can be a sense of loss for that established reality, that comfortable “known,” even if it wasn’t always positive. It’s the emotional distress that comes from being disconnected from what was once your predictable world. So, it truly highlights that homesickness is a complex emotional response, often more about the loss of what’s familiar than affection for the place itself.

Should I go home if I’m feeling homesick?

This is a powerful question, and the urge to pack your bags and head back to familiarity can be incredibly strong when you’re dealing with homesickness. While going home might feel like the perfect immediate solution, it’s not always the best approach for your long-term adjustment to your new life. Making an impulsive decision to return can actually hinder your ability to fully adapt and prevent you from forming new, meaningful connections in your current location. It’s a bit like the “pushmi-pullyu” dilemma – the strong desire to return home can pull you away from the effort needed to truly build a new life where you are.

However, a brief, planned visit home can sometimes be genuinely helpful. It can act as a much-needed “reset” button, allowing you to reconnect and recharge. The key here is that it’s a planned visit to reconnect, not an escape from your current challenges. If you find yourself constantly debating whether to stay or go, wrestling with deep indecision, it might be incredibly beneficial to explore the underlying reasons for these feelings with a professional. Our team of international therapists understands the unique complexities of expat life and can help you steer this complex choice, offering support whether you decide to stay or go.

You Can Build a Life You Love, Even While Missing Home

Dealing with homesickness is a journey, not a destination. It’s a testament to your capacity for deep connection and love – qualities that make you human, not weaknesses to overcome. The very fact that you’re experiencing these feelings shows you had something meaningful to miss in the first place.

As you steer this challenging time, you’re not choosing between honouring your past and embracing your future. You can do both. You can hold space for missing the familiar comfort of home while simultaneously opening your heart to the exciting possibilities that your new life offers. This isn’t about forgetting where you came from or forcing yourself to stop caring about the people and places that shaped you.

Your strength lies not in suppressing these feelings or pretending they don’t exist, but in acknowledging them with compassion and taking proactive steps to build something beautiful where you are now. Every small routine you establish, every new connection you make, and every moment you choose to engage with your new surroundings is an act of courage. You’re literally creating a new version of home, one day at a time.

The process isn’t linear, and that’s perfectly okay. Some days will feel easier than others. There will be moments when homesickness catches you off guard – perhaps triggered by a familiar song, a particular smell, or even just the way the light falls through your window. These moments don’t mean you’re failing; they mean you’re human.

You don’t have to steer this journey alone. If you’re finding that homesickness is significantly impacting your daily life, work performance, or overall well-being, reaching out for professional support can be incredibly helpful. At Therapy in Barcelona, we understand the unique challenges of expat life because we’ve lived them ourselves.

Our team of international therapists, led by Leigh Matthews – an Australian Psychologist who moved to Barcelona in 2011 and founded our practice after experiencing her own cultural adjustment challenges – specialises in providing culturally sensitive support to the English-speaking international community. We offer personalised therapist matching and a range of therapeutic approaches, both in-person at our offices in Barcelona (Calle Paris 162-164, 3o, 1a 08036) and online for expats worldwide.

If you’re struggling with homesickness and adjusting to life in Barcelona or abroad, our team of international therapists is here to help. We understand that seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of wisdom and self-care. Our collaborators set their own prices, and you can click here to see current fees. Once you’re matched to a therapist, we’ll let you know their fees and preferred payment method. Fees range from 80 to 95 Euros for an individual therapy session and from 90-120 euros for a couples therapy session.

Building a life you love while missing home isn’t about choosing sides. It’s about expanding your capacity for connection, belonging, and joy. You’re not replacing your old life – you’re adding to it, creating something richer and more complex. And that, in itself, is something to celebrate.