Self-compassion is a powerful tool for improving your well-being, self confidence & resilience. Many find it easy to have compassion for others but struggle to gift the same kindness to themselves. By taking moments throughout your day to pause & practice self compassion breaks, you can increase this quality and make it a more regular habit in your life.

Try this Self-compassion Break…..*

When you find yourself stressed out in a difficult situation, take a moment to pause

•Inhale. Expand your belly & lungs, pause to soak it in. Inhaling fully is an act of self-love….pause to feel this Love..exhale tension or worry. exhale into complete relaxation, letting go of tension.

Touch your heart, your arm or leg, or give yourself a hug.

•Acknowledge that you are in a moment of suffering. Treat yourself with as much kindness as you would a close friend or child who was struggling. Say to yourself: “This is suffering.” or “This is really painful/difficult right now.” or “This feels hard.”

•Acknowledge your suffering is not a failure, but a part of being human. -“It’s not abnormal to feel this way. Many people would struggle in this situation.”

• Offer yourself a final comforting phrase. Choose whatever feels appropriate for your situation. Use any of the following phrases or create your own:

“May I hold myself with compassion.” “May I love and accept myself just as I am.” May I experience peace.” “May I remember to treat myself with love and kindness” “It’s OK, [YOUR NAME] I am here with you” “This too shall pass”

•Return to your daily activities, intentionally carrying an attitude of self-compassion and acceptance to your day.

With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.

– Kristin Neff

 

Self-compassion is not

Ignoring your pain or uncomfortable feelings

self-criticism & judgement

having a “stiff upper lip”

self-pity or self-absorption

shaming yourself to make changes

based on self-esteem or measure of worth

feeling good

Self-compassion is

offering oneself kindness & care in difficult situations

acknowledging that all humans suffer & we are connected in this

noting that suffering is not a failure

being your own ally

supporting & coaching yourself to make changes

treating yourself just as you would those you love

acknowledging your limitations

sitting with messiness & imperfection

a practice that supports self-respect, resilience, growth, change, compassion, caring relationship behaviour & less narcissism & reactive anger

*This method was adapted from the Self-Compassion Pause used in Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) training program.