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Seven Keys to Mental Health. Number One: Look After Your Own Needs.

The 7 Keys to Mental Health. Number 1: Look After Your Own Needs.

This is the first in a series of blog posts about The 7 Keys to Mental Health. Today we’re looking at Key Number 1:
Look after your own needs. Be assertive in identifying and meeting your own needs, whether it be for food, exercise, relaxation, pleasure, work, laughter or love. We all need to have good self-care skills.
“Treat yourself with kindness” What does this mean to you? From a therapeutic standpoint, treating yourself with kindness is a fundamental skill for maintaining, improving or enhancing wellbeing. While it sounds like a very simple concept, it is one of the things I find most clients struggle with and it certainly isn’t taught in schools. While it is important to treat others with kindness (indeed there are a host of benefits for our emotional and mental wellbeing in doing so) self-care is a foundation skill. Why? If we don’t care for ourselves, our wellbeing falters, causing us to function poorly in our roles as friends, carers, parents, professionals, etc We must be good to ourselves and for ourselves in order to be any good for anybody else. So, how do you go about being kind to yourself?
  1. Make a list of small, and big, activities that bring you joy and pleasure such as: taking a bath, buying or picking flowers, watching a funny movie, sitting in the sun, listening to music, going to the theatre, browsing in a bookstore, doodling on paper, going for a stroll… See below for a list of ideas
  2. Choose things on the list that have given you pleasure in the past or seem as though they could now.
  3. Choose a day and time in which to practise these activities, starting with today and a 15 minute time frame.
  4. Take note of how you feel when you are being kind to yourself. If you note that you feel better, repeat. Even if you do not feel immediately better perhaps you feel good that you have actually taken a step to be kind to yourself.
Another, key, aspect of being kind to yourself is to practise Mindful Self-compassion. Check out a 2 minute video by Kristin Neff here:   

Here is a list of activities that may be of use in working out what works for you.

Happy self-care!

1. Soaking in the bathtub 2. Planning my career 3. Collecting things (coins, shells, etc.) 4. Going for a holiday 5. Recycling old items 6. Relaxing 7. Going on a date 8. Going to a movie 9. Jogging, walking 10. Listening to music 11. Thinking I have done a full day’s work 12. Recalling past parties 13. Buying household gadgets 14. Lying in the sun 15. Planning a career change 16. Laughing 17. Thinking about my past trips 18. Listening to others 19. Reading magazines or newspapers 20. Hobbies (stamp collecting, model building, etc.) 21. Spending an evening with good friends 22. Planning a day’s activities 23. Meeting new people 24. Remembering beautiful scenery

25. Saving money 26. Listening to bird call audios on the internet 27. Going to the gym, doing aerobics 28. Eating a healthy meal 29. Painting your nails

30. Getting out of debt/paying debts 31. Practising karate, judo, yoga 32. Meditating 33. Repairing things around the house 34. Working on your car or bicycle 35. Remembering the words and deeds of loving people 36. Wearing sexy clothes 37. Having quiet evenings 38. Taking care of plants 39. Buying, selling stocks and shares 40. Going swimming 41. Doodling 42. Exercising 43. Collecting old things 44. Going to a party 45. Thinking about buying things 46. Catching a bus or train and just seeing where it takes you 47. Playing soccer 48. Flying kites 49. Having discussions with friends 50. Having family get-togethers 51. Riding a motorbike 52. Sex 53. Playing squash 54. Going camping 55. Singing around the house 56. Arranging flowers 57. Going to church, praying (practising religion)

58. Losing weight 59. Going to the beach 60. Thinking “I’m an OK person” 61. A day with nothing to do 62. Having class reunions 63. Going ice skating, roller skating/blading 64. Going sailing 65.Travelling abroad, interstate or within the state

66. Sketching, painting 67. Doing something spontaneously

68. Doing embroidery, cross stitching

69. Sleeping 70. Going for a leisurely drive 71. Entertaining

72. Going to clubs (garden, sewing, etc.)

73. Thinking about getting married 74. Going birdwatching 75. Singing with groups

76. Flirting 77. Playing musical instruments 78. Doing arts and crafts 79. Making a gift for someone 80. Buying CDs, tapes, records 81. Watching boxing, wrestling 82. Planning parties 83. Cooking, baking 84. Going hiking, bush walking 85. Writing books (poems, articles) 86. Sewing 87. Buying clothes 88. Working 89. Going out to dinner 90. Discussing books 91. Sightseeing 92. Gardening 93. Going to the hairdresser 94. Early morning coffee and newspaper 95. Playing tennis 96. Kissing 97. Watching your children (play) 98. Making a list of 3 things you are grateful for today 99. Going to see a play 100. Daydreaming 101. Planning to go to university 102. Going for a drive 103. Listening to a podcast 104. Refinishing furniture 105. Watching Netflix 106. Making lists of tasks 107. Going bike riding 108. Walks on the riverfront/foreshore 109. Buying gifts 110. Travelling to a national park 111. Completing a task 112. Thinking about your achievements in life

113. Going to a sporting event (or rugby, soccer, basketball, etc.) 114. Eating gooey, fattening foods 115. Exchanging emails, chatting on the internet 116. Photography 117. Going fishing 118. Thinking about pleasant events 119. Going for a swim 120. Star gazing 121. Starting a free online course on Coursera, EdX, etc 122. Reading fiction 123. Watching a TedX talk on YouTube 124. Being alone 125. Writing diary/journal entries or letters 126. Cleaning 127. Reading non-fiction 128. Taking your children places 129. Dancing 130. Going on a picnic 131. Thinking “I did that pretty well” after doing something 132. Taking some nice deep breaths 133. Playing volleyball 134. Having lunch with a friend 135. Going to the hills 136. Thinking about having a family 137. Thoughts about happy moments in your childhood 138. Splurging 139. Playing cards 140. Having a political discussion 141. Solving riddles mentally 142. Playing cricket 143. Seeing and/or showing photos 144. Knitting/crocheting/quilting 145. Doing crossword puzzles 146. Shooting pool 147. Dressing up and looking nice 148. Reflecting on how you’ve improved 149. Buying things for yourself 150. Talking on the phone 151. Going to museums, art galleries 152. Choosing a new recipe to cook 153. Surfing the internet 154. Lighting candles 155. Listening to the radio
156. Going to the library 157. Having coffee at a cafe 158. Getting/giving a massage 159. Saying “I love you” 160. Thinking about your good qualities 161. Buying books 162. Having a spa, or sauna 163. Going skiing 164. Going canoeing or white-water rafting 165. Going bowling 166. Doing woodwork 167. Fantasising about the future 168. Doing ballet, jazz/tap dancing 169. Debating 170. Playing computer games 171. Having an aquarium 172. Erotica (sex books, movies) 173. Going horseback riding 174. Going rock climbing 175. Do something for somebody 176. Doing something new 177. Making jigsaw puzzles 178. Thinking “I’m a person who can cope” 179. Playing with pets 180. Having a barbecue 181. Rearranging the furniture in my house 182. Buying new furniture 183. Going window shopping 184. Visiting somebody 185. Sending a letter or post card to someone 186. Asking for a cuddle 187. Giving money to a person who is begging on the street 188. Buying a takeaway meal 189. Sleeping in late 190. Drinking a glass of water 191. Moving your body  
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Leigh Matthews is a Registered Australian Psychologist and founder of Therapy in Barcelona, a group therapy practice in Barcelona that has supported the English speaking international community for over 13 years. While Leigh’s earlier work focused on helping clients navigate the complexities of expatriate life, her current role is dedicated to leading a uniquely diverse team of  highly skilled English speaking therapists from around the world in Barcelona. Committed to fostering professional growth and collaboration, Leigh ensures the practice provides compassionate, client-centred care while focusing on business development and mentorship. Through Therapist Launchpad Consultations, Leigh now shares her expertise,  supporting therapists to build successful, ethical practices of their own. Visit Leigh’s LinkedIn Profile 

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On October 9, 2019   /   Emotional Support Barcelona, Expat Coping Strategies, Expat Therapy Barcelona, Positive Psychology  

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